God's Plan for Hope

For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Wow! I so remember reading this devotion. I was sitting outside where Matthew was completing his Operation Right Track. I read quite a few of these devotions while I was waiting. I remember reading this one thinking...what could God possibly be doing through the whole situation with Matthew. I'm sure at this point we had been into this (drugs, courts, rehab, police, fighting, checking his room, drug testing, items missing and the list goes on) for about 3 years. I really didn't think I could take anymore. Though the situation got A LOT worse, thankfully, God gave me the strength and guidance to get through.

"He sees. He cares. He is aware. And best of all, He is touched by it." Lord knows, that at this point I was so busy trying to control everything and what was I going to do next that I never stopped and let God touch my heart. I always knew that He had a plan and was at work...but I think I kept getting in His way. I am sure that we are still where we are suppose to be but I also think that I took the long way.

"The enemy of souls wants you to think differently. God doesn't care. He's left you in this mess for so many months. How unfair!" Ha! Months...try years. I didn't know why God wouldn't allow this mess to be over with. I remember reminding myself over the years that, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle". That was my saving grace and daily reminder....until I heard someone say, "God will give you more than you can handle so you will turn to Him, because if we could handle it, we wouldn't turn to Him" And finally after many months which turned into years of turmoil with our household, I finally learned to "Let Go, Let God!" It was not easy and I shed a lot of tears and at the point that I read this devotion that night in the parking lot, I had no idea what God's plan was and I still don't but I do know that I finally have a better view of what might be. Matt gets out of his program in 18 days. He sounds great and will be moving in with my brother who is also giving him a job. I certainly never imagined that things would have worked out the way they are. I spent too much time feeling anxious over things I never had any control of (and still do at times...just not as much). I know Matt has a long way to go and grow but it is his journey and right now...my job is to step back and let him make his choices!

God has a plan and is working out the details and I don't get a map and I'm learning to following His plan one step at a time. All I can do is keep practicing!